The table shows data about the underground railway systems in six major cities with the date opened, kilometers of the route, and passenger numbers per year in millions.

The table shows data about the underground railway systems in six major cities with the date opened, kilometers of the route, and passenger numbers per year in millions.
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The table above graphically shows statistics of six different cities' underground transportation systems. The data shows the opening date, how long is the route, and the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of civilians that use the railway. The table
analises
Correct your spelling
analyses
analysis
the places London, Paris, Tokyo, Washington DC, Kyoto, and Los Angeles.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it can be seen and confirmed that the first three cities that created their underground transportation system, have the most passengers per year.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, even though Tokyo was the third train listed in the graph, Tokyo has the most passengers per year with a number of 1928 million users per year.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, we can observe that the first two places that developed
this
Linking Words
system
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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London in 1863 and Paris in 1900, are the ones that come across the most kilometres, London travels 394 kilometres of route, and Paris 199 kilometres. All in all, people use more Tokyo’s underground even though it was created many years after the European
countries
Change noun form
country's
countries'
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ones.
Submitted by patriciareyesfiguero on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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