The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants.

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The graphs elucidate the number of participants

with

Change preposition

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different genders in four different evening courses in 2009 respectively,

along with

Linking Words

it, the proportion in various age groups.

Overall

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, there were more female students in the evening education centre, only in the class of sculpture that male participants surpassed those females.

Moreover

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, learners mainly consisted of people over 50 years old,

while

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young individuals took up a small proportion. First of all, the language course was the most popular among females, at 40 people, which was 2 times more than the

male

Fix the agreement mistake

males

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ones,

while

Linking Words

the painting was the most favoured by men at 20 students.

Furthermore

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, the ratio between men and women in drama class was 1 to 2.

On the other hand

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, the least favoured course was sculpture consisting of more men than women. As for the age of students, those who were over 50 years old took up the largest proportion at 42%, compared to those young people under 20 years old, who only accounted for 5%.

Submitted by unapoya0916 on Sat Apr 29 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

168 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

attendance
participant
adult education
distribution
proportion
engaged
trend
mid-career
popularity
speculate
job-oriented
creative courses
leisure aspect
enroll
correlation
inclined
career-oriented
hobby-related
literacy
technical skills

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The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants.

Some students agree that internet-based lectures is better type lectures. The other students tend to believe that university-based lectures is still needed. Explain your opinion for both sides of the view.

Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and tradition methods of food preparation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people today struggle to use modern electronic technology such as smart phones and computers. Why do you think this is ? What can be done to solve this problem ?

Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other people prefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.