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Band 4

Some people believe these days teenagers are spending their leisure time at shopping centers instead of doing organized activities as sports or music . Do you think it has a negative or positive development?

#people #teenagers #leisure #time #centers #activities #sports #music #development
As we know,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
art
 isn’t only about pictures in
gallery
Fix the agreement mistake
galleries
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,
movie
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movies
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 in
cinema
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cinemas
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 and
sculpture
Fix the agreement mistake
sculptures
show examples
 in the square. Of course,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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art
 is
earnest
Add an article
the earnest
an earnest
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 deal, which the greatest artist and architects,
Correct word choice
and craftsman
show examples
craftsman
Fix the agreement mistake
craftsmen
show examples
 create. But now it finds
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 new way and it uses almost everyone, who
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
want
Correct pronoun usage
itwant
show examples
.
In other words
, I talk about
art
therapy
. It is
understated
Correct article usage
an understated
show examples
 current, which can help
people
 with emotional and physical conditions.
For example
, the
therapy
 was encouraged
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
pandemic
Add an article
the pandemic
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 period, when
people
 lost their meeting face to face and felt loneliness.
Art
therapy
 assumes that person can impress his feelings on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
paper or do something like sculpture.
According to
scientist
Replace the word
scientific
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researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
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, it helps
people
 to decrease emotional
destroys
Replace the word
destruction
show examples
 and depression.
Also
,
this
 method is
practiced
Change the spelling
practised
show examples
 for
people
 with different diseases like cancer. As for disadvantages,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
art
therapy
 can’t help everyone.
The
Correct your spelling
They
show examples
 talk about
people
, who knows that they have some skills or
talented
Replace the word
talent
show examples
. They want to reach some ideal result and it isn’t about their inner feelings.
On the other hand
, the
therapy
 may cause reversed emotions, like unpleasure remembers or painful memories and it becomes the evocative harrowing
art
. In conclusion, I would say that every
therapy
 has disadvantages and can’t fit
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all
people
.
Art
therapy
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
 unharmful and everyone can practice it everywhere and do it by
yourself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
.
Submitted by dulskywork on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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