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Band 4

Many claim that tha fast food industry has a negative effect on the environment, eating habits, and families. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#tha #food #industry #effect #environment #habits #families
Food
 is an inevitable part
in
Change preposition
of
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 our life. A few among the mass claim that
thw
Correct your spelling
the
 fast
food
 industry has a negative effect on the environment eating habits and families.
Incompletely
Correct your spelling
I completely
show examples
 agree with the abovementioned statement my point of view regarding
this
 explain in the following paragraph.
To begin
 with,
downside
Add an article
the downside
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 of fast
food
 is that, it cause different environmental issues. To be clearer,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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fast foods are packed in
plastic
Add an article
a plastic
show examples
cover
Fix the agreement mistake
covers
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 when people purchase
this
 they throw plastic
in to
Join the words
into
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environment
Add an article
the environment
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. It
cause
Change the verb form
causes
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 problem
such
 as soil erosion because the plastic
donot
Correct your spelling
do not
destroy
Correct pronoun usage
itdestroy
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 .
Moreover
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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fast foods are made with saturated fat and sugar
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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Wrong verb form
resulting
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results
Add the preposition
inresults
fromresults
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 different obesity-related
disease
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diseases
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such
 as diabetes, high blood pressure and cardiovascular disease but
also
 body sluggish.
For example
, the survey conducted by WHO(world health organization ) proved that fast
food
lead
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leads
show examples
different
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to different
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 kind of illness.
However
, there are
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 positive
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
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for
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apply
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the fast
food
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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that some folks are busy
in
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with
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 their work. They
donot
Correct your spelling
do not
 have
time
 to cook the fast
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
 help to them get the
food
 at
proper
Add an article
the proper
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time
.
For instance
,
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 business persons mostly suing
fat
Replace the word
fatty
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food
 in their
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 to save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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valuable
time
.
Furthermore
, people can buy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
 at any
time
 depend
up on
Correct your spelling
upon
show examples
 their convince.
To sum up
,
although
 there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 some
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
, the disadvantage
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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outweight
Correct your spelling
outweighed
outweigh
 its merits.
It
Add a verb
isIt
wasIt
show examples
 not good for
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 health.
Submitted by amilingeorge12345 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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