IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#diagrams #show #life #cycle #species #fish #salmon #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The diagram
indicate
Change the verb form
indicates
show examples
 the
life
 cycle of a species of Large fish called the salmon, and how their
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
 during the vita. We can recognize
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
diagram
Correct article usage
the diagram
show examples
 information that their
life
 are three
section
Change to a plural noun
sections
show examples
.
First
Add an article
The first
show examples
 part is
fry
,
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
 sector is smolt and the
last
 is adult Salmon.  At
first,
fry
born
Add a missing verb
was born
show examples
 in the vicinity of reeds and small stones.
In
addition
Add a comma
,addition
show examples
 they display on
upper
Add an article
the upper
an upper
show examples
 river where the stream is calm and slow moving
then
 fries go to
lower
Add an article
the lower
show examples
 river where the flow is fast flowing
although
 living in
this
 place is about 4 years.
Furthermore
 smolts
Countinue
Correct your spelling
Continue
 their way to
opensea
Correct your spelling
open sea
open-sea
 and they are living there for five years.
Consequenty
Correct your spelling
Consequently
 adult Salmons will enter their cycle It means they will go to
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 section of their
life
.
As well as
 we have some evidence about their size it contain
fry
 is 3-8 cm
asmolt
Correct your spelling
smolt
 is 12-15cm. and adult salmon 70-75 cm.
According to
this
data
Add a comma
,data
show examples
 the biggest size
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
during their
life
 is
adultsalmon
Correct your spelling
adult salmon
 and the smallest size is
fry
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words life, fry with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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