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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Should education and healthcare be free of charge and funded by the government, or should it be the responsibility of the people to pay for these services?

#education #healthcare #charge #government #responsibility #people #services
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It is irrefutable that a country’s growth largely depends on how educated and healthy its citizens are. The burgeoning population and the lack of funds often make it harder for the authority to bear the expenses of their needs, especially in
education
Use synonyms
, housing and treatment. I believe that an effective solution would be to divide the expenditures between the
government
Use synonyms
 and the individuals.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
education
Use synonyms
, nowadays, plays a vital role in the development of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Not only it creates job opportunities, but
also
Linking Words
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 people become aware of the socio-economic issues of the country. Making
education
Use synonyms
 free till the age of 18 would encourage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pupils to finish at least their secondary
education
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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, the percentage of student enrollment in schools in 2011 in my country increased by 19%
than
Correct quantifier usage
more than
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 that of 2009, and it was because the
government
Use synonyms
 exempted fees for students in these classes.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the healthcare system can
also
Linking Words
 be improved by providing either health insurance or schemes that cover a minimum of 50 per cent of the cost.
Thus
Linking Words
 people would not feel that healthcare is expensive
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 the
government
Use synonyms
 would not need to bear the expenses alone. A healthier nation can help the country achieve greater heights as citizens in
such
Linking Words
 countries are more productive.
Consequently
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, economic
growths
Fix the agreement mistake
growth
show examples
 will get bolstered and the
government
Use synonyms
 would be able to become self-reliant.
To conclude
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, with the implementation of the said measures there would be no burden on either the
government
Use synonyms
 or individuals. Both the
government
Use synonyms
 and individuals can go hand in hand to cope with
this
Linking Words
 and build an enlightened and healthy nation.
Submitted by oludayotemilade on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • equity
  • social justice
  • economic benefits
  • productive workforce
  • quality of life
  • social mobility
  • personal responsibility
  • overuse
  • inefficiencies
  • feasibility
  • implementation challenges
  • sustainable funding
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