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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some poorer areas of large cities people are too afraid to leave their houses at night time due to a fear of crime. What are the causes of crime in those areas and what can be done to tackle those problems?

#areas #cities #people #houses #night #time #fear #crime
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Historically, it seems that Wahid Hasyim’s thoughts emerged in Indonesian circumstances where there was a polarization between government schools, established by Dutch colonial, which was concerned to produce skilful employees for the colonial government and the pesantren education which tend to preserve Islamic teaching and avoiding secular subjects
such
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 as science, foreign languages, including social sciences that were considered as a part of the colonial system. Unsurprisingly, there were many Muslim clerics, particularly from the NU circle, who considered Hasyim’s ideas unsuitable with pesantren’s values. Wahid Hasyim stated that pesantren is not only a centre for students who want to be ulama but
also
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 for those who want to develop life skills.
Therefore
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, as can be seen in Madrasah Nizamiyah, the curriculum was not merely Islamic teachings but provide a wide variety of secular subjects.
Moreover
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, Wahid Hasyim offered some progressive ideas
such
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 as students as a subject of learning and professionalism for the teachers. These notions are what the author called the basic thoughts of freedom of learning that will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
Submitted by salwafahanim on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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