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Band 5

Today, both men and women are capable of doing all jobs equally well. To what extent do agree or disagree?

#men #women #jobs
It is believed that males and females are skilful to do all
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of occupations
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
equally. I mostly disagree with
this
 suggestion because still
women
 cannot overcome physical jobs as
men
 can handle and most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
women
 in the world are not employed in
army
Add an article
the army
show examples
due to
 their physical drawbacks.
Firstly
, in today’s world, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
women
 do not able to grasp physical jobs in comparison to
men
. They have physical advantages to embark
certain
Change preposition
on certain
show examples
 working fields by their nature. To give an example,
although
 some of them find a job to perform in
construction
Add an article
the construction
show examples
 sector
such
 as
operator
Add an article
the operator
an operator
show examples
 of machines, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
women
 could not be employed in rough works of construction
such
 as steelworks
due to
 its heavy conditions to perform.
In addition
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
women
 cannot find wood sector
such
 as logging works because it has difficulties for subtle
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
.
As a result
,
women
 cannot be appointed
some
Change preposition
to some
show examples
 working fields alike
men
.
Secondly
, almost all
women
 in the world are not recruited to work for
army
Add an article
the army
show examples
. Except
Change preposition
for Israel
show examples
Israel
Replace the word
Israeli
show examples
 military forces, armies do not need
women
 to assign any duty because physically, they are not capable to work in harsh conditions and
security
Change preposition
in security
show examples
.
For example
,
women
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
 not got
endurance
Add an article
the endurance
show examples
 to live
Change preposition
in extreme
show examples
extreme
Change the word
extremely
show examples
 hot and cold weather conditions expeditions as
men
 have.
Additionally
,
women
naturally
Add a missing verb
are naturally
show examples
 deprived
from
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 defending themselves usually as
men
 can do. Shortly, it cannot be said that
women
 are employed in armies to serve nations as
equally
Change the adverb
equal
show examples
men
. Looking from the agreeable side
this
Change preposition
of this
show examples
 fact,
women
 have been handling many jobs like
men
 in recent years. In comparison to
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
,
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
 employment
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 improved rapidly
variable
Change preposition
in variable
show examples
sectors
 and it continues.
Moreover
, in some
sectors
Add a comma
,sectors
show examples
 female members excel
from
Change preposition
over
show examples
male
Add an article
the male
a male
show examples
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
 as they perform their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
such
 as
medical
Correct article usage
the medical
show examples
 sector and caregiving. Apart from these,
women
 have taken substantial roles in management and politics and they have proven their qualities. In conclusion, examples and causes can be multiplied in
this
 suggestion. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 many
sectors
 are filled with qualified
women
 members and they perform just as
men
, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
,opinion
show examples
 it is hard to say that
women
 can work in all
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of
sectors
 as
men
 can
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
due to
 their physical and mental disadvantages. 48 dk
Submitted by metehancakiroglu3435 on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender equality
  • professional abilities
  • personal skills
  • qualifications
  • success stories
  • stereotypes
  • perceptions
  • education and training
  • gender differences
  • social benefits
  • economic benefits
  • gender-diverse workplaces
What to do next:
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