IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The two pie charts illustrate the mode of
energy
Use synonyms
 use and the greenhouse
gas
Use synonyms
 emitted from the usage of the energies in an Australian household.
Overall
Linking Words
, heating was the most widely used
energy
Use synonyms
 source with cooling being the least.
Conversely
Linking Words
, water heating released the most greenhouse
gas
Use synonyms
. Forty-two per cent of power was consumed by heating followed by a30% of water heating. Refrigeration and other appliances accounted for seven and fifteen per cent respectively
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 an average house in Australia. Both cooling and lightning used just a small section of the
energy
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, heating of water ejected the most greenhouse
gas
Use synonyms
 at a proportion of thirty-two per cent was almost the same percentage of
energy
Use synonyms
 used with the highest effect. Other appliances almost doubled in terms of
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption. Heating released only 15% of
gas
Use synonyms
 emissions with cooling being the least with just 3%.
Submitted by mabelappiahkubi0 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, gas with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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