IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Most countries spend much money on education as they start to realize the importance of education. In your opinion, which two subjects are the most important for young people and which one is the least important?

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Nowadays,
students
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 have many options to study in school and some
people
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 discuss which course for
students
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 would be the most essential in their
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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, in my personal perspective,
English
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 and art
is
Verb problem
are more
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 important than
the
Correct article usage
apply
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advanced math
class
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classes
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. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will express my view and conclusion. The second language class especially
English
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 is significant to our work and
life
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 experience. Taiwan
students
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 learn
English
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 at a very young age, but most
people
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 always
learned
Wrong verb form
learn
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 how to take the examination.
As a result
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,
people
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 are incapable
to utilize
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of utilizing
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English
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 when they
require
Correct pronoun usage
require it
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.
For example
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, Taiwanese have many chances to work at a company that cooperates with foreign factories or firms. If
people
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 lack
English
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 practice, it is hard to have an effective conversation with a foreigner.
On the other hand
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, art is deceptive and non-productive, but tremendously effective for young age
students
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 to build their sense of taste and the way they adventure the world.
In addition
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, combined with the language and the widespread view, young
students
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 profit more in the future.
Although
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 basic math allows
people
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 to do calculations, advanced math
such
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 as calculus or statistics is not common to see in
life
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 use.
Thus
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,
there
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 is unnecessary
to
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that
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 everyone needs
this
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 knowledge during education.
However
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, I believe there is still some occupation that requires those
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
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. Engineers or machinery manufacturers,
for instance
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, need these skills to be accurate to address the issue in their job, because what they produce may
associate
Wrong verb form
be associated
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 with
people
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's
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. In conclusion, I believe no course is useless, education for young
people
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need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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 to be considered whether it benefits
students
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 in their
life
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 and future.

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task achievement
Ensure the introduction clearly outlines the main points that will be discussed in the essay. Consider rephrasing the thesis statement for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas within paragraphs more effectively to enhance logical flow. Use transitions to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and explanations to support key points, especially regarding the role of advanced math in various careers.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion regarding the importance of English and art, which is a good start for task achievement.
task achievement
The essay acknowledges opposing views and recognizes the role of advanced math in certain professions, which shows a balanced perspective.
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