The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)

The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)
The following graph illustrates the average
hours
of non-paid
work
done per
week
by married
women
and
men
in different
ategories
Correct your spelling
categories
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
childcare, housework and gardening. The graph shows classifications
such
as, without
children
, with one to two
children
and with more than three
children
.
Overall
, the
amout
Correct your spelling
amount
of
hours
done by married
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
is much lower compared to
women
. The most amount of
hours
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
on
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
activities was done by married
women
with more than 3
children
. They spend up to 60
hours
a
week
on
such
activities. Meanwhile,
men
in
this
classification spend only 15
hours
per
week
which is the least
spend
Replace the word
spent
show examples
hours
. Married
women
without
children
work
30
hours
a
week
when
Correct word choice
while
show examples
men
work
10
hour
Change to a plural noun
hours
show examples
less(20
hours
).
In addition
,
men
with one to two
children
work
the same as
men
withut
Correct your spelling
without
children
. Meanwhile,
women
work
almost 50
hours
per
week
. We can see the difference in time
soend
Correct your spelling
spent
by
women
and
men
.
Women
work
more
hours
on unpaid activities, whilst
men
spend less time on
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Submitted by salta.Zh on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, work, week, women, men, children with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • distribution
  • demographics
  • household responsibilities
  • societal expectations
  • norms
  • childcare
  • housework
  • gardening
  • contributions
  • family structure
  • cultural implications
  • social implications
  • work-life balance
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