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Writing Samples
Band 8

The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)

The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)
#hours #work #week #people #categories #activities #childcare #home #housework
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The given bar chart compares the average unpaid
work
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hours
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 a
week
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 between married
women
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 and
men
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 in
three
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 circumstances, including those without a child, with one to two children, and with
three
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 or more
kids
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that married
women
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 spent more
time
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 than married
men
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 engaging in unpaid
work
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. The more
kids
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 they have, the more likely married
women
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 to be involved in unpaid jobs,
whereas
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 is not the case for married
men
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. Regarding married
women
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, they spent a significantly larger amount of
time
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 doing unpaid
work
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, with
women
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 having
three
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 and more
kids
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 spending almost triple times that of
men
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 in unpaid
work
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, accounting for 60
hours
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 per
week
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. Interestingly,
women
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 with one to two children spent only 50
hours
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 a
week
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 in unpaid
work
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, followed by 30
hours
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 per
week
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 for
women
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 without children.
This
Linking Words
 means that
women
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 with
three
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 or more
kids
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 doubled the
time
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 spent on unpaid
work
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 than
women
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 with no
kids
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the unpaid
work
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hours
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 for married
men
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 were less likely to be affected by the number of
kids
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 as they spent relatively the same amount of
time
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 in unpaid duties either with or without
kids
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. They all spent around 18 to 20
hours
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 per
week
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 involved in unpaid jobs.
Submitted by joewingpun1992 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words work, hours, week, women, men, three, kids, time with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • distribution
  • demographics
  • household responsibilities
  • societal expectations
  • norms
  • childcare
  • housework
  • gardening
  • contributions
  • family structure
  • cultural implications
  • social implications
  • work-life balance
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