The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)

The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)
The bar graph illustrates the total
hours
of unmarried
men
and
women
each week without any salary in distinct categories.
Overall
, the average working
hours
of married
women
experienced
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
higher rate than the working time of
men
in different areas.
To begin
, the indicator of married
women
without
children
accounted for 30,
whereas
this
number for married
men
consisted of around 18
hours
. The figure experienced an increasing trend for
women
in case of 1 or more
children
such
as with 1 or 2
children
, the working
hours
constituted just over 50,
whereas
this
number for
men
was approximately 19
hours
. In the case of 3 or more
children
, the indicator for
women
rose and reached its peak of 60
hours
,
while
the working time for
men
showed a dramatic difference with opposite gender and around 3 times less than that of
women
which was only about 17
hours
.
Submitted by sahibzamanshirinov on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, men, women, children with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • distribution
  • demographics
  • household responsibilities
  • societal expectations
  • norms
  • childcare
  • housework
  • gardening
  • contributions
  • family structure
  • cultural implications
  • social implications
  • work-life balance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: