IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think that the strict punishments of driving offences are the key to reduce traffic accidents.Others however believe that other measures are more effective in improving road safety

#people #punishments #offences #traffic #accidents #measures #road #safety
Nowadays some people think that strict
penalty
Fix the agreement mistake
penalties
show examples
 for driving offences are the key to reducing
traffic
accidents
.But others believe that other measures would be more effective in improving
road
 safety.In
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would like to put some lights
about
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
 theme .I will try to give my opinion regarding the topic .
Firstly
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
many countries have
barrier
Fix the agreement mistake
barriers
show examples
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
speed
Add an article
the speed
show examples
 of cars.The government think the speed of
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
 should be right for the
road
.And
for
this
reason
Add a comma
,reason
show examples
 they set
barrier
Fix the agreement mistake
barriers
show examples
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 speed of
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 each
road
.
For instance
 if
ride
Replace the word
riding
show examples
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
 between houses the limit
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
speed
50
Add a missing verb
is 50
show examples
.But
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 big
ways
Add a comma
,ways
show examples
 the speed limit does not have. But it has a negative side
for example
 if you drive a
car
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high speed on an uneven
road
 you can
lost
Change the verb form
lose
show examples
 control of
car
Add an article
the car
show examples
.
In the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 1989 experiment of the Social
media
Add a comma
,media
show examples
 university shows that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
improving
road
 safety
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not play
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
 role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic
 accident.First of all the important role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic
accidents
 play the level of
driver
Correct article usage
the driver
show examples
 and the speed of the
car
.If you break the rules of the speed in the streets the government give some penalty for driving.Many people think it is not
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 way to decrease
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic
accidents
.But statics do not completely approve
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
. In the past when
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 punishment for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
driving offences
accepted
Add a missing verb
was accepted
show examples
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic
accidents
 decreased to 35
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think the punishment for driving offences
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 the key to
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreasing
show examples
traffic
accidents
Submitted by nazirovmuhammad71 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • repeat offenses
  • infrastructure improvements
  • public awareness campaigns
  • reckless driving
  • traffic management technologies
  • intelligent traffic lights
  • speed cameras
  • public transportation
  • minimize
  • enhance safety
  • allocate funds
  • road signs
  • road safety
What to do next:
Look at other essays: