The graphs below illustrate the gadgets individuals in the 18 to 25 age categories utilized to watch TV channels in Canada in 2009 and 2019.
The two pie chart
provide
information Change the verb form
provides
the
gadgets people in 18 to 25 years categories used between 2009 to 2019 in Canada. Change preposition
on the
Overall
, it is clear that
conventional TV
dramatically decreased in 2019
First,
The highest watching rate
was for conventional tv
and Laptop between 34%-20% in 2009.In contrast
, in 2019 highest percentage
are Flat-screen TV
and Mobile Fix the agreement mistake
TVs
Phone
between almost Fix the agreement mistake
Phones
same
Correct article usage
the same
rate
of 27% and 26%.
Second,
The lowest watching rate
was for Tablet
and Mobile Fix the agreement mistake
Tablets
phone
between Fix the agreement mistake
phones
Add an article
the rate
rate
of 5% and 8%. Fix the agreement mistake
rates
However
, in 2019 lowest percentage
is Conventional
Correct article usage
the Conventional
TV
rate
of 4%, Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
tablet
dramatically raised to a Fix the agreement mistake
Tablets
percentage
19
%
Change preposition
of 19
Third,
laptop
gradually decreased from 20% to 12% Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
percentage
between in
2009 to 2019
similar to desktop Change preposition
apply
computer
decreased Fix the agreement mistake
computers
18
% to 12%
In conclusion, Change preposition
by 18
Add an article
the behavior
behavior
of people in Change the spelling
behaviour
18
to 25 age groups in 2009 prefer to Correct article usage
the 18
used
Conventional Change the verb
use
TV
. In
Contrast
people in 2019 prefer to Flat-screen Add a comma
,Contrast
Tv
or Mobile phone.Fix the agreement mistake
TVs
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words tv, rate, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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