The graphs below illustrate the gadgets individuals in the 18 to 25 age categories utilized to watch TV channels in Canada in 2009 and 2019.

#graphs #gadgets #individuals #age #categories #tv #channels #canada

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The two pie chart

provide

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provides

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information

the

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on the

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gadgets people in 18 to 25 years categories used between 2009 to 2019 in Canada.

Overall

Linking Words

it is clear that

Linking Words

conventional

Use synonyms

dramatically decreased in 2019

First,

Linking Words

The highest watching

rate

Use synonyms

was for conventional

Use synonyms

and Laptop between 34%-20% in 2009.

In contrast

Linking Words

, in 2019 highest

percentage

Use synonyms

are Flat-screen

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Fix the agreement mistake

TVs

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and Mobile

Phone

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Phones

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between almost

same

Correct article usage

the same

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rate

Use synonyms

of 27% and 26%.

Second,

Linking Words

The lowest watching

rate

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was for

Tablet

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Tablets

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and Mobile

phone

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phones

show examples

between

Use synonyms

Add an article

the rate

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rate

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rates

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of 5% and 8%.

However

Linking Words

, in 2019 lowest

percentage

Use synonyms

Conventional

Correct article usage

the Conventional

show examples

Use synonyms

rate

Use synonyms

of 4%,

Linking Words

Furthermore

Add a comma

,Furthermore

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tablet

Fix the agreement mistake

Tablets

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dramatically raised to a

percentage

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Change preposition

of 19

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Third,

Linking Words

laptop

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laptops

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gradually decreased from 20% to 12%

percentage

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between

Change preposition

apply

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2009 to 2019 similar to desktop

computer

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computers

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decreased

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by 18

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% to 12% In conclusion,

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the behavior

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behavior

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behaviour

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of people in

Correct article usage

the 18

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to 25 age groups in 2009 prefer to

used

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use

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Conventional

Use synonyms

Linking Words

Contrast

Add a comma

,Contrast

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people in 2019 prefer to Flat-screen

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Fix the agreement mistake

TVs

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or Mobile phone.

Submitted by sarut.kira on Thu May 04 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.

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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words tv, rate, percentage with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.

▼

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

155 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

illustrate
gadgets
utilized
age categories
watching TV channels
comparison
popularity
notable trends
increase/decrease
devices
decade
advancements in technology
user preferences
speculation
future trends
conclusion
implications
technology and media companies
lifestyle
habits
target age group

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The graphs below illustrate the gadgets individuals in the 18 to 25 age categories utilized to watch TV channels in Canada in 2009 and 2019.

Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

Many people today prefer to consume fast food rather than traditional home cooked meals. What are the reasons for this ? Do you think this is a positive or negative developments.

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A university education should be free for all students. To what extent do you agree?

Today more and more people want things instanly (e.g. goods, service, news) why is this? Is it positive or negative development?