The graphs below illustrate the gadgets individuals in the 18 to 25 age categories utilized to watch TV channels in Canada in 2009 and 2019.

The graphs below illustrate the gadgets individuals in the 18 to 25 age categories utilized to watch TV channels in Canada in 2009 and 2019.
The two pie chart
provide
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provides
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information
the
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on the
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gadgets people in 18 to 25 years categories used between 2009 to 2019 in Canada.
Overall
,
it is clear that
conventional
TV
dramatically decreased in 2019
First,
The highest watching
rate
was for conventional
tv
and Laptop between 34%-20% in 2009.
In contrast
, in 2019 highest
percentage
are Flat-screen
TV
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TVs
show examples
and Mobile
Phone
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Phones
show examples
between almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
rate
of 27% and 26%.
Second,
The lowest watching
rate
was for
Tablet
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Tablets
show examples
and Mobile
phone
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phones
show examples
between
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the rate
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rate
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rates
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of 5% and 8%.
However
, in 2019 lowest
percentage
is
Conventional
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the Conventional
show examples
TV
rate
of 4%,
Furthermore
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,Furthermore
show examples
tablet
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Tablets
show examples
dramatically raised to a
percentage
19
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of 19
show examples
%
Third,
laptop
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laptops
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gradually decreased from 20% to 12%
percentage
between
in
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apply
show examples
2009 to 2019 similar to desktop
computer
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computers
show examples
decreased
18
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by 18
show examples
% to 12% In conclusion,
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the behavior
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behavior
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behaviour
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of people in
18
Correct article usage
the 18
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to 25 age groups in 2009 prefer to
used
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use
show examples
Conventional
TV
.
In
Contrast
Add a comma
,Contrast
show examples
people in 2019 prefer to Flat-screen
Tv
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TVs
show examples
or Mobile phone.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words tv, rate, percentage with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • illustrate
  • gadgets
  • utilized
  • age categories
  • watching TV channels
  • comparison
  • popularity
  • notable trends
  • increase/decrease
  • devices
  • decade
  • advancements in technology
  • user preferences
  • speculation
  • future trends
  • conclusion
  • implications
  • technology and media companies
  • lifestyle
  • habits
  • target age group
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