IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Some organisations belive that their employees should dress smartly . Others value quality of work above appearance . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion .

#organisations #belive #employees #dress #value #quality #work #appearance
In some
offices
Add a comma
,offices
show examples
 they have the idea that their workers would be better
if
Change preposition
off if
show examples
 they dress smartly. Meanwhile, others disagree and think that
clothes
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 nothing to do with work. In
this
 paper, I'm going to show the different positions
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
with which I
suppot
Correct your spelling
support
 more. In
this
world
Add a comma
,world
show examples
 your
apperance
Correct your spelling
appearance
 matters there are many stereotypes and critics of the
irts
Correct your spelling
Irish
 look. There's the
though
Correct your spelling
thought
show examples
 that a man in a suit has money or is smart, and a man
whith
Correct your spelling
with
 baggy
clothes
 could be homeless. In
adittion
Correct your spelling
addition
,
every one
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
 always
say
Change the verb form
says
show examples
 that
fisrt impresion
Correct your spelling
first impressions
 matters.
Nevertheless
, today the world is evolving and
judge
Wrong verb form
judging
show examples
 someone for their
apperance
Correct your spelling
appearance
 can lead to missing out
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 an incredible person.
Although
, looks have some impact you never know what could be under
thouse
Correct your spelling
those
clothes
. For
exaple
Correct your spelling
example
, the owner of Zara
startes
Correct your spelling
started
starts
 as a
hombeless
Correct your spelling
homeless
 and now he has their own brand, you would never imagine if you only see the
clothes
.
To sum up
, I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that people could change their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
due to
 what you are warring
bit
Correct your spelling
but
show examples
 it
should'nt
Correct your spelling
shouldn't
 be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
require to work at some place.
Insted
Correct your spelling
Instead
, the different organisations could open their horizons and find incredible workers.
Submitted by patriciareyesfiguero on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: