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Band 2

Manu people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Fors the situation have advantages or more disadvantages?

#manu #people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #fors #situation
Time spins and with every
spins
Change to a singular noun
spin
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 there is change. The change brings out lots
doubts
Change preposition
of doubts
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, conflicts and controversies. So the issue
an
Change preposition
of an
show examples
increasingly
Change the adverb
increasing
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 number of people working longer hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities bring out immense
of
Change preposition
apply
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meros and demerits.
This
 essay will throw light on the valid views in upcoming paragraphs. On the positive side working longer hours had a
remarkabke
Correct your spelling
remarkable
 on the people.
Firstly
 you will earn more money. On the negative
side
Add a comma
,side
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 it has brought
tremndus
Correct your spelling
tremendous
 benefits : at the same time there
negative
Add a missing verb
are negative
show examples
 aspects
also
 which may not be underestimated. First of all significant effects include poor work-life balance and health risks.
For example
, long work hours could lead to tiredness, fatigue and lack of attentiveness. In gist , it can be concluded by saying that everything has its own significant value . Nothing
cannot
Rewrite the sentence
can
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 be ignored but
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
 I think that the advantages
are outstrip
Change the verb form
are outstripped
are outstripping
show examples
 its disadvantages.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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