IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#job #salary #consideration
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that
while
Linking Words
 applying for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
job
Use synonyms
,
salary
Use synonyms
 is a matter, which means
salary
Use synonyms
 is the most crucial factor to be considered.
However
Linking Words
, other
people
Use synonyms
 think that there are so many things to be prioritized rather than
money
Use synonyms
. In my point of view, even though
money
Use synonyms
 is important, there are so many more valuable things than that. It is undoubtedly certain that
people
Use synonyms
 work to earn
money
Use synonyms
 for their
livings
Fix the agreement mistake
living
show examples
 so that the higher the
salary
Use synonyms
, the more satisfaction they get. That’s why
people
Use synonyms
 choose
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 which can give them a competitive
salary
Use synonyms
 rather than other conditions like working environment,
job
Use synonyms
 security and many more. Nowadays,
due to
Linking Words
 high inflation, more and more
people
Use synonyms
 have to struggle a lot and they aim to get more
money
Use synonyms
 in order to cover their living
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, even though
money
Use synonyms
 is the god for most
people
Use synonyms
, it is not the answer
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 all problems. There is so much evidence that there are so many things that are more valuable than
money
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
employees
Use synonyms
 should consider the
job
Use synonyms
’s location. If the
job
Use synonyms
 is very far from home, it can take a lot of time for transportation which might be inconvenient for
employees
Use synonyms
 in the long run. It is certain that time is more valuable than
money
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in some small
companies
Add a comma
,companies
show examples
 there is no specific career ladder, which means
employees
Use synonyms
 cannot be promoted to higher positions
due to
Linking Words
 the company’s
organization
Replace the word
organisational
show examples
 structure. That’s why
employees
Use synonyms
 should consider and ask interviewers during the interview about the career ladder,
what
Correct word choice
and what
show examples
 benefits and improvements they can gain from the
job
Use synonyms
 rather than asking about the
salary
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, In my point of view,
salary
Use synonyms
 is not the only factor to be considered
while
Linking Words
 choosing
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
job
Use synonyms
. There are so many factors which are as vital as
money
Use synonyms
 for
employees
Use synonyms
 as I mentioned above.
Submitted by pyaekyitharchaw884 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • consideration
  • sole factor
  • financial stability
  • security
  • motivating factor
  • dissatisfaction
  • demotivation
  • job satisfaction
  • overall well-being
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • flexible working hours
  • vacations
  • career growth opportunities
  • skill development
  • advancement
  • determining factor
What to do next:
Look at other essays: