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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #hobbies
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Many
people
Use synonyms
 consider that a particular level of difficulty is needed for pastimes to be pleasurable. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 idea, since what types of leisure activities
people
Use synonyms
 like depends mainly on each individual’s personality and preferences. From a personal perspective, it is arguable that certain recreational activities lack the element of difficulty, leading to some
people
Use synonyms
 believing less amount of joy is brought to us by them.
For instance
Linking Words
, pastimes
such
Linking Words
 as watching a movie or listening to music might be considered by some as boring or not enjoyable enough, since the lack of appeal and excitement
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the outlook.
However
Linking Words
, we cannot assume the importance of these simple acts of relaxation on
people
Use synonyms
, because we have no way of knowing what those individuals’ needs are during their
time
Use synonyms
 of
leisuring
Correct your spelling
leisure
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the way
people
Use synonyms
 spend their free
time
Use synonyms
 is mostly determined by their personalities and their needs.
For example
Linking Words
, some may prefer to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
couch
potato
Fix the agreement mistake
potatoes
show examples
 when they have free
time
Use synonyms
, and yet
this
Linking Words
 simple act can be fun to him or her as much as going out and doing sports are for others. Some
people
Use synonyms
 are fond of things that are physically or mentally challenging,
while
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 others crave something relaxing and soothing.
For example
Linking Words
, someone may enjoy playing a game of chess
while
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 the other may love to listen to music when they are taking a break from work or study. Neither one nor the other is of greater importance; meaning that everyone can feel
rewarding
Wrong verb form
rewarded
show examples
 and relaxed after spending a particular amount of
time
Use synonyms
 doing something that they love.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I am against the advocates who have the idea of hobbies
needing
Wrong verb form
need
show examples
 to be difficult to be enjoyable, because the idea of leisure activities
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 very subjective and personal to every unique individual.
Submitted by pyaekyitharchaw884 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unique challenge
  • personal growth
  • mastery
  • accomplishment
  • demanding
  • thrill of achievement
  • pastimes
  • fostering
  • sense of community
  • mindfulness
  • stress relief
  • mental break
  • daily stressors
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