Telecommuting refers to workers doing their jobs from home for part of each week and communicating with their office using computer technology . Telecommuting is growing in many countries and is expected to be common for most office workers in the coming decades . How do you think society will be affected by the growth of telecommuting ?

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it is becomingly increasing common that a number of countries have begun to
use
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telecommuting and it is expected that
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

way of working will be popular in the next decades.In my opinion , the fact that telecommuting brings more advantages than disadvantages Admittedly,it is true that telecommuting will bring some disadvantages
in
Change preposition
to

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management.It
is seems
Change the verb form
seems

It appears that the form of the verb seems does not work with is in this sentence.

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that employees will be more concentrate when they
working
Wrong verb form
work

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb working. Consider changing it.

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in the office.
In contrast
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, when they
use
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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telecommuting refers to work at home ,they might
could
Remove a modal verb
apply

The verbs, might and could, are both modal verbs. You cannot use two modal verbs in one clause. Remove one of these verbs.

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not focus on their work because no managers can stop them
relaxing
Change preposition
from relaxing

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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.Even so,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

problem can be solved.Managers can
use
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

electronic devices like
monitor
Fix the agreement mistake
monitors

It seems that monitor may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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to check whether employees are working hard or not
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,telecommuting refers have
good
Add an article
a good

The noun phrase good effect seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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effect on society and the
company
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.First of all, it can make society more environmentally friendly.The reason why many people do not need to commute is that they used the telecommuting refers.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,less traffic reduces carbon emissions too.So ,
the
Correct article usage
apply

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telecommuting is good for the social environment.The secondary factor we need to take into consideration is that telecommuting refers bring more possibilities to work.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some companies
use
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

it to communicate with foreign talents, not just local employees. By doing things,It makes a
company
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

more international and more
motivate
Change the form of the verb
motivated

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb motivate. Consider changing it.

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. In conclusion,
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

sometimes telecommuting refers brings some drawbacks for the
company
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,it brings more benefits for the
company
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and society.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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