IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some believe that the best way to keep fit to join a gym or health club while others think doing every activities such as walking and climbing stairs is as effecient. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#believe #gym #health #club #activities #stairs #effecient
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Fitness of a body is one of
major
Add an article
the major
show examples
 criteria to be followed by every individual, most of them accept as doing some physical activity
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our daily routine is quite enough rather than moving to
gym
Correct article usage
the gym
show examples
. Nowadays,
people
 are depended on
certain
Add an article
the certain
a certain
show examples
gadget
Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
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 to complete their
work
in
Change preposition
at
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home
Add an article
the home
a home
show examples
 as well
at
Correct word choice
as at
show examples
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
.
According to
 me, to be healthy the gym is not mandatory in life. At present, various technology has been developed especially
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electronic devices like household products which motivated everyone to do regular activities on
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. Earlier,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fitness coaching centres were too hard to
found
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
 because almost every person had numerous activities in their houses where doing physically
incase
Correct your spelling
in case
show examples
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
 gardening,
agricultural
Replace the word
agriculture
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, washing and others.
These
Change the determiner
This
show examples
 involvement was considered as an exercise so that there was no
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
secondary requirement for
Correct article usage
the management
show examples
management
Replace the word
managing
show examples
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
health
.
Hence
,
special
Add an article
a special
show examples
 class for
health
 maintenance
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 required. Generally,
people
 are holding in busy schedules routine
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
 most of them in a family where
overrding
Correct your spelling
overriding
 on jobs.
Instead
 of doing by themselves all
work
Correct article usage
the work
show examples
in house
Add a hyphen
in-house
show examples
 finding
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
support from machines. To wander from one place to another
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
 a small distance will check in 2 or
4 wheelers
Add a hyphen
4-wheelers
show examples
.
Hence
, walking
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
kind of body movement drastically reduced so that
people
 extracting one hour
to join
Change the verb form
joining
show examples
 certain types of
health
club
Fix the agreement mistake
clubs
show examples
. If
people
 understand and carry forward
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
work
 physically
then
 there is no requirement of doing
huge
Add an article
the huge
a huge
show examples
workout
Fix the agreement mistake
workouts
show examples
.
Thus
,
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 mentality will
decides
Change the verb form
decide
show examples
 an opinion on
statement
Add an article
the statement
a statement
show examples
 provided. In conclusion, choosing
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
some kind of physical
work
 will improve their
health
 and
preferening
Correct your spelling
preferencing
preferring
 moving to a few
distance
Change to a plural noun
distances
show examples
 by walk is far better than
segregate
Wrong verb form
segregating
show examples
 some time for
to do
Change the verb form
doing
show examples
 heavy workout in
gym
Add an article
the gym
a gym
show examples
.
Submitted by aishwaryarkunnummal on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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