In achieving personal happiness, our relationship with family, friends, and colleagues are more important work and wealth. Do you agree or disagree with this?
In today’s globalised
world
some people believe that it is more essential for personal Add a comma
,world
happiness
good relationship with friends
, family and colleagues. Other
think that Fix the agreement mistake
Others
good
job and wealth Correct article usage
a good
more
important. In Add a missing verb
are more
this
essay
both aspects of Add a comma
,essay
this
issue will be elaborated.
Firs
, Correct your spelling
First
according to
the
US scientists survey 60 % of people in the world feel happy if they have shelter and something for eating. Correct article usage
a
Moreover
, if person
Add an article
a person
the person
have
Change the verb form
has
good
relationship with family and Add an article
a good
friends
it will help him to feel more happy and mentally strong. Furthermore
, individuals who have good link
with family members Fix the agreement mistake
links
they
achieve their goals more often rather than othersCorrect pronoun usage
apply
,
because they know that they have supportive family and Remove the comma
apply
friends
behind them.
Turning to the other side of issue
good link with family Correct article usage
the issue
not
only sours of Add a missing verb
is not
happiness
. There are other crucial things for personal happiness
. For instance
, good health and well-paid
job Correct article usage
a well-paid
also
make pupil
happy. If Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
person
Add an article
a person
the person
have
everything he Change the verb form
has
need
for living, Change the verb form
needs
for example
, big
house, Correct article usage
a big
last
model car, but Correct article usage
the last
poor
health, in my opinion, there is no meaning Change preposition
in poor
these
things. I believe that Change preposition
in these
that
if Remove the redundancy
apply
individual
Correct article usage
an individual
have
strong wealth he will achieve all his goal.
Change the verb form
has
To conclude
all points mentioned above good relationship is important with person and family, friends
. Additionally
, good
job and wealth Correct article usage
a good
also
essential for personal Add a missing verb
are also
happiness
. In my opinion, people should keep in balance all these issuesSubmitted by nargiz.nagiyeva0101 on
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Your opinion
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