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Band 3.5

some people believe that protection of environment is the governments duties while some believe its people duties. to what extend are you agree or disagree?

#people #protection #environment #governments #duties #believe
When preserving
ecosystem
Correct article usage
the ecosystem
show examples
 is discussed, citizens can be separated
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 two groups which are people who consider that it is an authority's duty,
while
 others believe society
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 preponderance
reponsibility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
. From my consideration, I determine that
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
also
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 massive tasks
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 conserving our environment.
Then
, there will be explanations in the following paragraphs.
To begin
 with, collaboration among numerous stakeholders is necessary as a way to acquire
success
Correct article usage
the success
show examples
 of the program.
For instance
, when policymakers release a policy which disallows to
exploitate
Correct your spelling
exploitative
exploitation
forests
Change preposition
of forests
show examples
 extremely, local communities can be encouraged to assist
implementation
Correct article usage
the implementation
show examples
 environment
like
Change preposition
by
show examples
 reporting any illegal logging cases.
Consequently
,
protection
Correct article usage
the protection
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 biosphere can be maximal in view of
multitudinous
Correct article usage
the multitudinous
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 parties
will
Correct pronoun usage
that will
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 participate.
Moreover
,
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
the plethora
show examples
 of societies have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same portion
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
 the authorities
due to
 they live near
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
biosphere aspects
such
 as rivers, lakes, shores, etc.
In other words
, they should know
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how to protect essential variables of nature.
As a result
, when
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 are educated, they are able to conserve living components.
For example
, several natives in Indonesia like
Dayak
Correct article usage
the Dayak
show examples
 tribe always protect
rain
Add an article
the rain
show examples
 forest. It is really essential for them in view of
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
notion that living
harmony
Change preposition
in harmony
show examples
 in
ecosystem
Add an article
the ecosystem
an ecosystem
show examples
 is required to avoid
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some catastrophes. From all the aforementioned, I redeclare my paradigm that
between
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the bureaucracy and its citizen have
equivalent
Add an article
an equivalent
show examples
 portion. Without any public support, protecting nature can be
predicament
Correct article usage
a predicament
show examples
due to
 several regulations cannot be applied and there is no party which wants to preserve it.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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