Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#think #children #activities #computer #games

These days, for many people, especially

children

, it has become normal to spend more and more

time

playing on a computer

instead

of outdoor activities. Some believe that playing outside is more essential than engaging in

video

games

. I completely disagree with

this

idea,

Correct word choice

and in

show examples

this

essay, I

wil

Correct your spelling

will

support my opinion with examples.

Firstly

, when

children

play

video

games

at home they avoid being involved in street gangs. Youngsters are busy

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and spend their destructive energy or even their angst and fury in the safest way possible: they express it online. It is well-known, that in the world the criminal rate decreased partly thanks to that

children

prefer to stay and home and play computer

games

alternatively going out and being affected by the influence of bad companies .

In other words

, they do not have

time

or interest to participate in crime. Another reason I disagree with the argument is that modern

children

live in a world of technology and they must know them well and learn to use them in the most effective way.

That is

to say,

video

games

are a good course of action to get familiar with technologies and to have the experience to communicate and coordinate online.

Besides

, they develop imagination.

For example

, Minecraft, which is one of the most popular

games

among

children

, allows players to imagine, design, and create anything they dream up.

On the other hand

, there is an opinion that little ones spend too little

time

outside, and that harms their physical and mental health, but it does not mean that they play at home all the

time

Children

regularly go outside, just not for long. In conclusion,

although

it is a common belief that outdoor activities are important, I believe it is crucial for

children

to learn online communication , and

video

games

are one of the most effective methods to do it. Personally, I think that there is more good than bad in playing them

instead

of being outdoors.

Submitted by natallia.khrenava on Tue May 09 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

332 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

a museum near your home is looking for people to do part-time voluntary/unpiad work. You would like to do some voluntary/unpaid work at the museum. Write a letter to the museum director to apply for the voluntary/unpaid work.

Some people think that radio has become out-of-date, and there is no need to listen to the radio for entertainment and news. Do you agree or disagree?

People have different views on how to reduce traffic congestion. Some think that governments should build more train and subway lines, while others think that building more roads and widening existing roads will reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

In many countries there has been an increase in social problems involving teenagers in recent years. Many people believe that this is due to modern lifestyles because parents spend more and more time at work and have less time to supervise their children. To what extent do you believe this is true?