All parents want the best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that schools should teach children skills but others think having having a range of subjects is better for children's future. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#parents #opportunities #children #people #schools #skills #range #subjects #future

There are some arguments between the parents that discuss

about

Change preposition

that

show examples

the

kids

should be learnt some social

skills

school

instead

of studying numerous

subjects

, which some people believing is good for children's future.

Although

learning many

subjects

school

could set an important step for their

further

education, I believe that teaching community

skills

is more crucial and necessary for their

life

. On the one hand, some important

subjects

such

as math, science, physics, and chemistry should be paid attention to in the early studying process because they are quite useful in high

school

and give the students more choices and opportunities in their

life

For instance

, a student with a good knowledge of some necessary

subjects

can have a chance to choose their favourite job with a high income, these

kids

will not have limited options to choose their career and in a shortage of standard living. I believe that these

kids

will have unlimited choices to choose from, but they will get into some trouble in society without any solution thinking.

On the other hand

, children who have studied some social

skills

like problem-solving

skills

and communication

skills

will have more advantages in their later

life

. People who have learnt these

skills

while

they're studying at

school

have more confidence than those who don't. They can show off themselves and be a leader if they have confidence,

brave

Replace the word

bravery

show examples

, and a good mindset to address any potential troubles.

For example

, some famous businessmen,

such

as Donald Trump and Jack Ma can lead their companies really well and they get lots of revenue every year through their leadership

skills

, independent thinking, and good problem-solving

skills

. They would not be successful if they

lack

Wrong verb form

lacked

show examples

these

skills

. I strongly believe that learning these

skills

school

is a necessary thing that could help

kids

in their future

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. In conclusion, studying a variety of

subjects

can give children multiple options for their careers, but lacking Social

skills

can give them more trouble in later

life

Submitted by halenguyenkhanh2005 on Wed May 10 2023

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coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and provides a logical transition to the next paragraph to enhance the logical structure of the essay.

coherence and cohesion

Include a more elaborate conclusion that summarizes the discussed points and clearly states the writer's opinion.

task achievement

Provide specific and relevant examples to support the main points and ensure that they are directly related to the arguments presented.

task achievement

Elaborate on the relevance of the examples provided to strengthen the overall argument and ensure that they align with the specific points of discussion.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

334 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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All parents want the best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that schools should teach children skills but others think having having a range of subjects is better for children's future. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that family has the most powerful influence on a child’s development, while others think that other factors such as television, friend, music have the biggest effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those times than they are now. What problems will this cause? What can be done to solve these problems?

In recent years, “responsible tourists” have paid attention to preserving both culture and environment of the places they visit. However, some people say that it is impossible to be a “responsible tourist”. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many countries have embraced tourism as a way to boost their economies and create jobs for local residents . However ,some argue that tourism can have negative impacts on the environment and local cultures. What are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism for a country?