All parents want the best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that schools should teach children skills but others think having having a range of subjects is better for children's future. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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There are some arguments between the parents that discuss
about
Change preposition
that
show examples
the
kids
should be learnt some social
skills
at
school
instead
of studying numerous
subjects
, which some people believing is good for children's future.
Although
learning many
subjects
at
school
could set an important step for their
further
education, I believe that teaching community
skills
is more crucial and necessary for their
life
. On the one hand, some important
subjects
,
such
as math, science, physics, and chemistry should be paid attention to in the early studying process because they are quite useful in high
school
and give the students more choices and opportunities in their
life
.
For instance
, a student with a good knowledge of some necessary
subjects
can have a chance to choose their favourite job with a high income, these
kids
will not have limited options to choose their career and in a shortage of standard living. I believe that these
kids
will have unlimited choices to choose from, but they will get into some trouble in society without any solution thinking.
On the other hand
, children who have studied some social
skills
like problem-solving
skills
and communication
skills
will have more advantages in their later
life
. People who have learnt these
skills
while
they're studying at
school
have more confidence than those who don't. They can show off themselves and be a leader if they have confidence,
brave
Replace the word
bravery
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, and a good mindset to address any potential troubles.
For example
, some famous businessmen,
such
as Donald Trump and Jack Ma can lead their companies really well and they get lots of revenue every year through their leadership
skills
, independent thinking, and good problem-solving
skills
. They would not be successful if they
lack
Wrong verb form
lacked
show examples
these
skills
. I strongly believe that learning these
skills
at
school
is a necessary thing that could help
kids
in their future
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. In conclusion, studying a variety of
subjects
can give children multiple options for their careers, but lacking Social
skills
can give them more trouble in later
life
.
Submitted by halenguyenkhanh2005 on

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and provides a logical transition to the next paragraph to enhance the logical structure of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Include a more elaborate conclusion that summarizes the discussed points and clearly states the writer's opinion.
task achievement
Provide specific and relevant examples to support the main points and ensure that they are directly related to the arguments presented.
task achievement
Elaborate on the relevance of the examples provided to strengthen the overall argument and ensure that they align with the specific points of discussion.
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