IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessery to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

#children #difference #right #age #punishment #necessery #distinction #sort #parents #teachers #behaviour
Many people believe that punishment is an effective tool to teach children to differentiate between right and wrong from a young age.
However
, various others think that
this
 method might have a bigger downside.
Therefore
, it’s of the
upmost
Correct your spelling
utmost
show examples
 importance to discuss both sides.
Firstly
, many studies have found that kids that are subjected to punishments when doing something wrong, end up developing a higher sense of morality when growing up.
Nevertheless
, it’s
also
 crucial to consider that overusing
this
 tactic, might cause permanent psychological damage on infants.
In particular
, when said punishments
also
 involve physical damage, a theory
also
 backed by scientific evidence. Despite
this
, researchers have found, that children submitted to punishments, generate a subconscious sense of guilt and remorse, which ends up developing their set of
ethic
Replace the word
ethical
show examples
 values in the future. Helping them understand the difference between good and bad deeds and actions. Yet, some consider
this
 to be unethical, but the data does not lie, and the results provide promising results.
To conclude
, I believe that it’s paramount to consider the establishment of punishment at a young age, for children’s subconsciousness to develop the proper sense of
moral
Replace the word
morality
show examples
, and a wide range of
ethic
Replace the word
ethical
show examples
 values and good actions.
Submitted by patriciareyesfiguero on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: