IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Government investment in the art such as, music and theater is a waste of money.goverment Must invest money in public service instead. Do you agree or disagree?

#government #investment #art #music #theater #waste #money #goverment #service
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The
governments
Fix the agreement mistake
government
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 investing in
art
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 is a normal and old way business in which the
government
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 invest more but, recently public demand has made it not important.
therefore
Linking Words
, I will agree that
Correct article usage
the authority
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authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
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 should spend
money
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 on the construction of good
Roads
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 and good
water
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 supply being more essential than
art
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.
This
Linking Words
 shall be expatriates in the essay.
Government
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 should spend more
money
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 on social needs
such
Linking Words
 as
roads
Use synonyms
 than
art
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 because not everyone loves
art
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 despite the fact that it has its own
health
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 benefits but having good
roads
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 superseded it. For ,example when one is sick and he needs to access
health
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 care on time with good
roads
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, Heath care service will be rendered without any complications But when the
roads
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 are bad the person's condition will become worst along the journey and death might occur.
In addition
Linking Words
 to the above
government
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 should invest more in good
water
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 supply.As we all know that
water
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 is the major requirement for a man to survive on Earth, after getting access to
water
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, if the
water
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 is unhygienic it will jeopardize the person's
health
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. Good
water
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 results in a good community and state.
For instance
Linking Words
, when people are always getting sick
due to
Linking Words
 the unhygienic drink they consume the
government
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hims
Correct your spelling
this
 will not have peace of mind, and
money
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 will be wasted on drugs
instead
Linking Words
 of achievements in
health
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,
Linking Words
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
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 if care is not taken life will be lost. Conclusively,
in contrast
Linking Words
 to the
Government
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's investment in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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art
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as music and , theatre I will agree that
money
Use synonyms
 should be diverted to public services like the construction of good
roads
Use synonyms
 and good
water
Use synonyms
 supply.
Submitted by oludayotemilade on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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