Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
In
this
contemporary era , everyone follows a hectic schedule and they forgot
that refreshing their Wrong verb form
forget
mind
is an indispensable part of their life . A myriad of people considers
that official authorities should invest in public services Correct subject-verb agreement
consider
instead
of entertainment sources. This
essay will discuss my complete disagreement with the notion extensively in subsequent paragraphs.
To commence, there are a plethora of reasons but the most preponderant is recreating the mind
. To expound , nowadays individuals follow a complex timetable as well as
they fail to relax their minds due to
which they become victims of several diseases like depression, tension and so on. However
, only by giving
a break from the ongoing schedule people can relax by utilising their time in theatre and music resulting which they can focus more on work with a relaxed Verb problem
taking
mind
and the outcome will be far better than before . For instance
, a survey was conducted by the local authorities that there were two groups, group A who work 24 ×7 and another group B who go for recreational activities on weekends and after a month it was concluded that Team B was more productive, effectively along with
efficiency as they gave a break to their schedule.
Moving ahead , by investing in art Government provides employment opportunities to its citizens . To explain , It is vastly observed that various masses are unemployed and if supreme power invests in arts so
an overwhelming majority of people can get a job and earn standard livelihood and Correct word choice
apply
this
income will be added to our GDP and this
is a positive and healthy development for the country . To exemplify, a report published by a renowned NGO that these theatres are the one of sources to employ a significant proportion of persons resulting in which unemployed can vanish
from the nation.Wrong verb form
vanishing
Hence
these all
reasons stand in good stead .
Correct determiner usage
apply
To conclude
, there are ample reasons to oppose the statement but the most imperative is to recreate an individual's mind
as well as
to provide employment opportunities in the market . In my prospects , Government
has the power to break a nation and make a nation . So , expending money on arts like theatre and music will assist in Correct article usage
the Government
incline
the GDP of the country and provide standard quality services to the citizens of the country.Correct your spelling
increasing
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task response
Ensure a clear and direct response to the prompt. Develop a more balanced approach and acknowledge counter-arguments.
coherence cohesion
Improve the structure and coherence of the essay. Use linking words and cohesive devices to connect ideas more effectively.
lexical resource
Enhance the range and precision of vocabulary. Use more sophisticated and precise language appropriate for an academic essay.
grammatical range
Work on the accuracy and complexity of sentence structures. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and use a variety of sentence structures.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.