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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#men #women #education #britain #three #periods #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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This
Linking Words
 chart gives information about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
further
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
 in Britain making a comparison between men and women. It
also
Linking Words
 illustrates who attended full-time or part-time
education
Use synonyms
 in three specific periods.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of young people who studied
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
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 is extremely greater than the ones who chose full-time. In fact
men
Change noun form
men's
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 and women's
average
Fix the agreement mistake
averages
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 never reach more than 300 thousand people.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
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 the lowest data that shows full-time students is almost 800 thousand.
This
Linking Words
 means that since 1970 students have considered
more
Correct pronoun usage
it more
show examples
 convenient
studying
Change the verb form
to study
show examples
 for a shorter period of time per day. The average of girls
into
Change preposition
in
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 both full-time and part-time
education
Use synonyms
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 a
gradually
Change the adverb
gradual
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 growth every ten years. As well the little amount of men who chose full-time has increased by only 50
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
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 every ten years. In 1990/91 part-time
education
Use synonyms
 drastically has grown reaching the highest,
while
Linking Words
 full-time
education
Use synonyms
 seems to be the exact amount for both
sex
Change to a plural noun
sexes
show examples
: around 300 thousand.
Submitted by gaiamilesi2004 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words education with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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