IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that consumers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #manufacturers #supermarkets #responsibility #amount #goods #consumers
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Task 2 There are diverse opinions on how producers and retailers of edibles should minimize how they package their products
while
Linking Words
 others opined that it is
individual’s
Correct article usage
an individual’s
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 responsibility to watch what they buy. People go into business to make
profit
Add an article
a profit
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 and for manufacturers and shops selling
for
Change preposition
apply
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items to make enough money, they have to
device
Replace the word
devise
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 methods that will make their products have a long shelf life.
This
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 they do by packaging the food item attractively after adding preservatives to it.
For instance
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, snacks like biscuits are
well packaged
Add a hyphen
well-packaged
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 to attract customers.
Moreover
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, producers have bills to pay
such
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 as taxes, staff salaries and other overhead costs.
This
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 can only be accomplished by designing the items well to capture the buyer.
Furthermore
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, the products are prevented from getting spoiled quickly when they are
well wrapped
Add a hyphen
well-wrapped
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 to maximize their quality and increase the gains.
However
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, the onus lies with shoppers to ensure they don’t spend their
hard earned
Add a hyphen
hard-earned
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 money on poison packaged as edibles.
For example
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, I bought a digestive biscuit
sometimes
Correct your spelling
some time
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 ago,
on
Correct word choice
and on
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 opening the box, the whole biscuit had melted. I checked the expiry date It had been cleaned off, meaning it has expired but they just want to sell it to maximize their profits not bothered about the implications of an expired product on people’s health. In conclusion,
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 should monitor what they buy and eat as the producers of food items are out to make
profit
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a profit
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 not minding what they packed for human consumption which can be detrimental to health and pose a threat to the consumers and the general public at large.
Submitted by oludayotemilade on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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