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Band 5

THE EXCESSIVE USE OF COMPUTERS AND TELEVISIONS IS RETARDING THE GROWTH IN CHILDREN WHICH IS SHOWN IN RECENT STUDIES. HOW FAR DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE TO THIS STATEMENT?

#computers #televisions #growth #children #studies
In today's burgeoning world the upsurge in
Correct article usage
the
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utilisation of computers and televisions
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 degrading the growth of the pupil.I somewhere side with
this
 notion,Let us discuss
this
 idea followed by my agreement in the ensuing paragraphs.
To begin
 with , Youngsters nowadays are more into technology
instead
 of physical exercise.To exemplify, there was a survey conducted by the National Sample Survey Office (New Delhi), which stated that 100 out of 200 adolescents are hinged over TV
set
Fix the agreement mistake
sets
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 or some other medium on air to relish their leisure time.
Moreover
 , They are deteriorating their own health doing so, Parents should take care of their young ones and should remove their addiction by making physical
action
Replace the word
activity
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 more exciting.
Additionally
, Physical life
on the other hand
 will somewhere aid juveniles to develop their minds and ameliorate their physical health.To throw some forth light,there was an article published in "The Tribune" which stated that children who are into physical movement are more fragile and tend to be more active than youngsters who sit and watch television.To illustrate, doing some physical tasks is imperative as it is having multiple benefits and
also
 they will help one to maintain a proper lifestyle.
Furthermore
,I totally agree with the fact that Computers and
on air
Add a hyphen
on-air
show examples
station
Fix the agreement mistake
stations
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 are somewhere holding back children's growth.To elucidate, surfing technologies all day long is making them lazy.To illustrate,when my younger sister was in eighth grade and she use to come back from school and get in front of a television for long hours
therefore
 my parents asked her to join a physical training game so that she can reduced her addiction. To encapsulate, it can be reiterated by the fact that adolescents should practice physical enterprise as a part of their lives
nonetheless
 living without technology is next to impossible but excess of it is
also
 dangerous.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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