Some people think that computer games should be banned because they have a number of disadvantages. Other thinks that they have a lot of advantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Although
computer
games
are looked down
by
Change preposition
upon by
show examples
our modern society, still there are many
people
who believe
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
to be beneficial. Similar to the disadvantages of
computer
games
, it contains some advantages too. On the one hand, children who play
computer
games
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the concentration and attention level of a person to a greater extent. Some
says
Change the verb form
say
show examples
playing
computer
games
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
not just about pressing buttons. Some video
games
are required to have analytics
skills
to solve problems.
This
can help to improve their logical thinking
skills
.
Secondly
, research
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
shown playing
computer
games
can effectively
relief
Replace the word
relieve
show examples
stress as a form of entertainment.
On the other hand
, children who constantly
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
computer
games
without self-control often become too
addictive
Replace the word
addicted
show examples
to
computer
games
.
Secondly
, Constant playing
computer
games
has a tendency to cause various psychological disorders
such
as
people
who suffer from anxiety, stress or even depression.
Additionally
,
while
playing
computer
games
are
proved
Correct your spelling
proven
show examples
to improve concentration and
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
show examples
skills
but
on the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can cause serious
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
their education.
Finally
, in my point of
view
Add a comma
view,
show examples
computer
games
can help generate huge opportunities and sources of income for thousands of
people
. They are entertaining
as well as
develop our cognitive
skills
.
However
, excess of anything is bad so are
computer
games
. It leads to many health problems and distracts us from our life goals In conclusion, despite
people
having different
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
of view about
computer
games
. I believe it would be better for parents to keep an eye on their children when they are playing
computer
games
when their
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
haven't fully developed yet.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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