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Writing Samples
Band 6

The line graph shows the changes in the population of some cities till date. Write a report and select the main features, making comparison where relevant.

The line graph shows the changes in the population of some cities till date. Write a report and select the main features, making comparison where relevant.
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The graph displays the changes in the total number of
people
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 living in five different cities from 1970 till date. The given cities are as follows: Tehran in Iran, Beijing in China, Lagos in Nigeria, New
York
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City
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 in USA and Moscow in Russia.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the
population
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 of Beijing, China experienced significant fluctuations over the
years
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.
In contrast
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, other given cities have had a
continuous
Change the word
continuously
show examples
 growing populace,
although
Linking Words
 the
population
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 of New
York
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City
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 have remained relatively stable over time. In 1970, Beijing had approximately 8
million
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 citizens residing in it and
this
Linking Words
 figure increased steadily until it hit about 11
million
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people
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 in 1990. Afterwards, the figure decreased sharply to about 7
million
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 residents five
years
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 later and from there, the numbers continued to rise progressively. Currently, Beijing has a
population
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 of about 22
million
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people
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.
Conversely
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, the
city
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 of Moscow had 7
million
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people
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 in 1970 and
this
Linking Words
 value increased steadily during the past
years
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. Presently,
this
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city
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 has a
population
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 of about 12
million
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 individuals. The same trend can be seen in the
population
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 of Tehran,
however
Linking Words
, in 1970, there were just about 3
million
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 citizens, and in five
years
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, the numbers increased slightly to a little less than 5
million
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people
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. From here, the figures continued to rise gradually and now, there are around 8
million
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people
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 living in Tehran, Iran. The
population
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 of Lagos have increased remarkably over the
years
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 from about 2
million
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people
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 in 1972 to about 13
million
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 individuals in 2000.
Moreover
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, the
population
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 of
people
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 living in Lagos at the moment is
at
Change preposition
apply
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about 17
million
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. Moving on, the
city
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 of New
York
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 had a total of 8
million
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 humans in 1970 and in 1975, the number decreased slightly to 7
million
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 and from there, it remained fairly stable till 1985
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 it increased a little to about 7.2
million
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 which remained relatively constant till 2000, having a head count of 7.3
million
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people
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.
Subsequently
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,
number
Change the article
the number
show examples
 of
people
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 living in New
York
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 decreased very slightly to around 7.1
million
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 in 2010 and now,
this
Linking Words
city
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 has about 7.3
million
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 residents.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, york, city, population, years, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 10 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Line graph
  • Population
  • Trends
  • Urbanization
  • Growth
  • Decline
  • Comparison
  • Rapid increase
  • Plateau
  • Stabilization
  • Infrastructure
  • Economic factors
  • Migration patterns
  • Natural disasters
  • Saturation
  • Time frame
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