The pie charts compare the amount of online shopping sales for retail parts in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Moreover, those are divided into four categories: travel, film/music, book, and clothes.

The pie charts compare the amount of online shopping sales for retail parts in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Moreover, those are divided into four categories: travel, film/music, book, and clothes.
The pie charts compare the number of online shopping sales for retail parts in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.
Moreover
, those are divided into four categories:
travel
,
film
/
music
,
book
, and
clothes
.
Overall
, it can be clearly observed that the vast majority of
film
/
music
online sales from 2003 and 2013 experienced a dramatically rose, and
books
Change the noun form
book
show examples
sales presented a slight growth as well.
On the other hand
,
travel
Correct article usage
the travel
show examples
and
clothes
sectors underwent a downward ratio in the later year. Starting with 2003,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
large percentage of online retail was
travel
sector accounting for 36% and followed by
clothes
at 24%,
film
/
music
at 21%, and
book
Wrong verb form
booking
show examples
solely
19
Change preposition
at 19
show examples
%, respectively. From 2013 onwards, The highest number of retail online in New Zealand was
film
/
music
responsible for 33 per
cent
, followed by
travel
at 29 per
cent
, and
book
at 22 per
cent
, and
clothes
at only 16 per
cent
, respectively.
However
, in
this
respect
Add a comma
,respect
show examples
the
film
and
book
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
continued growing compared with other sectors.
Submitted by nuchnapa.anna on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 89%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words travel, film, music, book, clothes, cent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "compare" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: