The chart below shows the percentages of males and females with higher education qualifications in 5 countries in 2001.

The chart below shows the percentages of males and females with higher education qualifications in 5 countries in 2001.
The given bar chart illustrates the proportions of men and
women
who graduated
higher
Change preposition
from higher
show examples
education in 5 different countries namely: Japan,
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
States, Switzerland, Britain and Germany in 2001. In general,
while
the percentages of males in Switzerland and females in Germany shared the highest
figure
, the opposite was true for
women
in Japan. Looking at the chart for more detail, there was only a quarter of graduated
women
in Japan, which was the lowest
figure
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
both genders in 5 countries and about 40% of men in
this
nation finished their courses.
Besides
,
while
there was around 45% of men in Switzerland graduated
higher
Change preposition
from higher
show examples
education, which was the highest
figure
,
this
figure
for
women
was significantly lower by 10% to reach 35%. Moving to Germany, females in
this
country graduated higher courses at 45%. Meanwhile, these statistics for the U.S. and Britain were remarkably lower
to reach
Change the verb form
reaching
show examples
40% and a
third,
respectively.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
the meantime, the percentages of males in these 3
remained
Wrong verb form
remaining
show examples
countries were at the same amount of 35% in 2001.
Submitted by thanhvinhdoi338 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words women, figure with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!