IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The graph illustrate visitors entering a museum during summer and winter in 2003. At time of the clock. Give report and necessary relevance.

The graph illustrate visitors entering a museum during summer and winter in 2003. At time of the clock. Give report and necessary relevance.
Task1 The graph above
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the average information about the average number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 entering a
museum
Use synonyms
 during
summer
Use synonyms
 and
winter
Use synonyms
 and
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
 interval in the year 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
,
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 shows that people do visit the
museum
Use synonyms
 in every season but the crowd differs. In the first hour which is 900 same amount of
visitors
Use synonyms
 enter the
museum
Use synonyms
 during
winter
Use synonyms
 and
summer
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
, in
1000
Correct article usage
the 1000
show examples
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
 we have 1300 people in
summer
Use synonyms
 more than in
winter
Use synonyms
 which is 500. But between 1000 to 1200 there is
surge
Add an article
a surge
the surge
show examples
 in
summer
Use synonyms
 to 1500
while
Linking Words
 in
winter
Use synonyms
 it
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
show examples
 and
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
 again to 600
visitors
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, during
summer
Use synonyms
 the highest
Use synonyms
visitors
Correct quantifier usage
number of visitors
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 during 1100-1200 hours
while
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 in
winter
Use synonyms
 the highest
Use synonyms
visitors
Correct quantifier usage
number of visitors
show examples
 is 600. Showing that people go to
Use synonyms
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
 during
summer
Use synonyms
 than in
winter
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, museum, summer, winter with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: