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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they recieved from the employers. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they recieved from the employers. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #study #students #age #groups #amount #support #employers #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The first
illustartion
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illustration
 depicts the
reasons
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of
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for
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styding
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studying
styling
staying
 for 5 age groups (under 26; 26-29; 30-39; 40-49 and over 49). The
reasons
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 are
the
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apply
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career growth and as a hobby. And the second chart reflects the
the
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apply
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amount of
support
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 that
people
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 get from
the
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apply
show examples
employers
according to
Linking Words
 the age groups. There are 2 types of
support
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 that
students
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 could get the first one is time off and the second one is help with fees.
Overall
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, there are magnificent differences among the help percentages that
students
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 get, and
also
Linking Words
 I would like to mention that the biggest part of older
students
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 decided to get a degree because they were interested in it, unlike
to
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apply
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younger
students
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 that mostly went to the
university
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 for academic
reasons
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. 80% of
students
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 that were under 26 went to the
university
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 because of their
career
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careers
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, and 10% of them went to the
university
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,
due to
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the
Change the word
their
show examples
 interest. But the academic reason has decreased gradually. The
last
Linking Words
 age group which is over 49 showed that only about 19% of them went to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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university
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due to
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the
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apply
show examples
academic
reasons
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.
However
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, the rate of
people
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 that went to study for the interest has increased steadily. Because 70% of
people
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 who were older than 49 went to the
university
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 as a hobby or to learn something new and etc. The
bigggest
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biggest
 amount of
support
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 from the
emploeyers
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employers
 got
people
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 who were older
under
Change preposition
than
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 26. Their percentage made up more than 60%.
This
Linking Words
 number has decreased till the
people
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 that were 30-39. After the amount of
support
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has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
started rising. So,
students
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 that were older than 49 got almost 50% of help from their bosses.
Submitted by Ayan on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "due to".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words reasons, support, people, students, university with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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