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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
#bar #percentage #australian #men #women #age #groups #activity
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The given bar chart illustrates the ratio of regular activity in 2010 among Australian netizens in different
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, females had more
exercise
Use synonyms
 than males in the 25 to 65 and over
age
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groups
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. The highest presentation man who did regular
exercise
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 was 15 to 24
years
Use synonyms
 old.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, 15 to 24
years
Use synonyms
 old males get 52.8% for exercising, which decreased for the 25 to 34
age
Use synonyms
group
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 with 42%, and the number continue
fell
Change the verb form
to fall
show examples
 to 39.5% for the 35 to 44
age
Use synonyms
group
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. The male who did the
exercise
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 in the 45 to more than 65
age
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groups
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 slightly increased. The
group
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 of 45 to 54 did
exercise
Use synonyms
 43.1%in 2010.
However
Linking Words
, males in the
age
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group
Use synonyms
 55 to 64 got 45.1%. The man with 65 and over did regular
exercise
Use synonyms
, with the presentation 46.7%. The female in the 15 to 24
years
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group
Use synonyms
 did 47.7%
exercise
Use synonyms
 in 2010. The Women from ages 25 to 65
groups
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exeperienced
Correct your spelling
experienced
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
, women in
age
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 25 to 34 got 48%, which rose to 52.5% in the 35 to 44
groups
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, females
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the 45 to 54
years
Use synonyms
 old had 53.3%. The
last
Linking Words
group
Use synonyms
 (65 and over) was 47.1%.
Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, groups, exercise, years, group with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Regular exercise
  • Age demographics
  • Participation rate
  • Trend analysis
  • Gender disparity
  • Health initiatives
  • Public health policies
  • Statistical comparison
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Work commitments
  • Age-related factors
  • Preventative health
  • Exercise habits
  • Surveillance data
  • Motivators and barriers
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