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Band 4.5

Universities should take the same number of men and women in each major. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#universities #men #women
In today's flourishing world gender equality is imperative for each and every institution,Well some part of society opines that colleges should admit an equal quantity of males
as well as
 females in each course.I firmly agree with
this
 notion , as each and
everyone
 has equal rights to grasp knowledge.Let us discuss these ideas in the ensuing paragraphs.
To begin
 with, Top-notch educational institutions nowadays provide a quota for girls students,
therefore
 because of
this
 some great male students aren't able to secure their places
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a particular course.To throw some forth light, studies are a crucial part of each and
everyone
Correct your spelling
every
show examples
 present in the surroundings,
everyone
 craves that whether rich or poor, women or men.To illustrate,there was an article published by 'The Tribune stated that the National Institute of Fashion Technology had kept their 30 per cent quota reserved for
girl
Correct your spelling
female
show examples
 students , well
this
 means they can even take admissions other than 30 per cent but no one other than girls can take reservation from that 30 per cent.
Furthermore
, the value of education should not differ
according to
 gender as many study centres offer a scholarship to a
girl
Correct your spelling
female
show examples
 student for no other reason but for the reason they are female .
Additionally
, Some males out there are
also
 suffering from financial crises
due to
 which they are unable to complete their higher education.To elucidate , there was a survey conducted by the National Sample Survey Office (New Delhi) which stated that 100 out of 200 of the total population are boys who are very much eager to study but
lack
Verb problem
fall
show examples
 behind because of their financial crises. To encapsulate, it can be reiterated that the poor have no gender so each and
everyone
 around them has the right to study
therefore
 Universities should admit the same number of males
as well as
 females in a particular course without any partiality.
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coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but your main points are not thoroughly supported. Ensure that your main points are well-developed with specific examples and analysis.
task achievement
You have addressed the task but your response lacks clear and comprehensive ideas. Provide more in-depth analysis and consider all aspects of the issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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