the charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010

the charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010
The given two charts display the ability to communicate in other
languages
by British
students
at one university in England in 2000 and 2010, The units are measured in percentage.
Overall
, the percentage of
students
who were able to speak other
languages
came up with increasing trend in 2010.
Additionally
, Spanish was the most commonly spoken in both years.
To begin
with, the ratio of
students
who could speak
Spanish
Change the article
the Spanish
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language stood at 30% in 2000 and
then
increased by 5% in 2013.
Moreover
, from the given data it could be clearly seen that Spanish language was the highest spoken alongside other
languages
for both years of study.
Additionally
, the amount of other
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
two other
languages
also
presented
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
increasing numbers by 5% as well, which was 20% and 15% in the year 2010. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
, the percentage of pupils who could speak French only was reduced from 15% in 2000 to 10% in 2010. The proportions for
students
who communicated in English only were
initially
yielded at 20% and
then
dropped to 10% in 2010.
Moreover
, there was no change in the speaking German sector. The number remained constant during both years of research, which was exactly 10%.
Submitted by Jeyul on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "additionally, moreover".
Vocabulary: Replace the words languages, students with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportions
  • British students
  • university
  • speaking other languages
  • language proficiency
  • overall trends
  • comparison
  • 2000
  • 2010
  • chart
  • data
  • percentage
  • significant
  • increase
  • decrease
  • noteworthy
  • comparative analysis
  • improvement
  • decline
  • conclusion
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