The chart below shows the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.

The chart below shows the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.
The given pie chart illustrates information about the ratio of
sodium
, saturated fat and sugar in four average daily meals
such
as breakfast, banquet,
lunch
and
grub
consumed by Americans.
Overall
, from the figure,
it is clear that
dinners and lunches that the USA residents consume are
sodium
and saturated fats rich
while
their
grub
has a high portion of added carbohydrates.
To begin
with, the first chart shows the percentage of
sodium
intake by Americans, dinner contains the highest ratio of
sodium
at 43%,
while
29% of added to
lunch
. Breakfast and Snacks allow for an equal proportion of
sodium
, which is 12 % each. The second chart shows saturated fat goes with the same trend as
sodium
. 21% saturated fat added to
grub
and 16% in breakfast.
Moreover
, at
lunch
, saturated fat is consumed 26% of total nutrients ,
,,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
in banquet time, saturated fat is consumed about 37% which is the highest for saturated fat consumption.
Finally
, the
grub
they enjoy contain high carbohydrate and fats, 42% and 21%, respectively, and the carbohydrate intake in
grub
is higher than that of supper and
lunch
.
Submitted by iielts998 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sodium, lunch, grub with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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