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Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999.

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999.
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The graph demonstrates the rank of worklessness in the US and
Japan
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 from
March
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 1993 to
March
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 1999.
Overall
Linking Words
, in 1993 the US index of unemployment was three times higher than
Japan
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's. But now, the score is almost the same. In 1999, the result shows apply 7% in the
USA
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 and 2.5% in
Japan
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. In the next two years, number of the jobless in
Japan
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 got increased,
while
Linking Words
 in the
USA
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 it was decreasing. In
March
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 1996, the rate of
Japan
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 prevailed to 4.5%,
while
Linking Words
 the
USA
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 got about 5%. Between 1996 and 1997
Japan
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 endured reducing, but again they gained more unemployed people than one year ago,
USA
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 still was losing from workless inhabitants.
March
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 1998, indicators of the two countries illustrate almost the same numbers.
Last
Linking Words
 1999 year, the Japanese overtook Americans by a percentage of joblessness. Index describes that
Japan
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 had 0.0001% more than the
USA
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 had in 1999. The final percentage was about 5.5%

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words japan, march, usa with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Unemployment rate
  • Trend
  • Comparison
  • Period
  • Sharp increase/decrease
  • Correlation
  • Economic policies
  • Technological advancements
  • Global economic conditions
  • Consumer spending
  • Social welfare
  • Public sentiment
  • Predictions
  • Economic strategies
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