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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#graphs #information #computer #ownership #percentage #population #level #education #years #summarise #features #comparisons
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The two bar charts illustrate the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
computer
Use synonyms
ownership
Use synonyms
 in relationship
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 population yearly from 2002 to 2010 and the education
level
Use synonyms
 in 2002 and 2010.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the
ownership
Use synonyms
 had steadily increased over the years. In 2002, only slightly over half of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 owned
Use synonyms
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
;
however
Linking Words
, over
three-fourth
Correct your spelling
three-fourths
show examples
 of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 owned
Use synonyms
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 by 2010. The analysis data of the education
level
Use synonyms
 shows
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 higher
level
Use synonyms
 of education
leads
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 higher
level
Use synonyms
 of
computer
Use synonyms
ownership
Use synonyms
 in both 2002 and 2010. Only around 15% of those who did not have
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 school diploma owned
Use synonyms
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
 in 2002 but
this
Linking Words
percentage
Use synonyms
 had trebled by 2010. The
percentage
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 increases by 30% approximately for those who did not finish
Correct article usage
a collage
show examples
collage
Correct your spelling
college
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 degree and only have
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
 school diploma.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, people who have bachelor’s and postgraduate degrees proved to have
greatest
Change the article
the greatest
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
computer
Use synonyms
ownership
Use synonyms
 in 2010, at 90% and 95%, about 20% higher than in 2002.
Computer
Use synonyms
ownership
Use synonyms
 has
a
Add a missing verb
had a
show examples
substantial increase in the past decade across all educational levels.
Submitted by weipower1108 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, computer, ownership, level with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consistent increase
  • growing reliance on technology
  • clear correlation
  • digital divide
  • notable growth
  • most pronounced disparity
  • gap reduced considerably
  • percentage growth
  • higher educational levels
  • educational groups
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