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Band 4

Because of traffic and housing problems in the cities, the government encourages business to move to the rural area. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#traffic #cities #government #business #move #area
Although
 some think that urban
areas
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 comfortable place for civilized nations. In my opinion, I think that rural
life
 is more suitable for
population
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the population
a population
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 in
modern
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the modern
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 world
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
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 with any disadvantages it might bring. Despite the drawbacks below, I believe people could gain more benefits
living
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from living
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 in rural
areas
.
Firstly
, air, water and noise pollution is low
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 with
situation
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the situation
a situation
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 in cosmopolitans
for instance
.
Due to
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of plants, factories, vehicles and even
people
Add a comma
,people
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 those
areas
 do not suffer from any kind of pollution.
Secondly
, the quality of food is better than in big cities as they are raised without any additives or pesticides. Living outside of cities, people could be more healthy as it is supposed to have active
life
 doing many kinds of work manually
instead
 of sitting in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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offices
mostly
Correct word choice
and mostly
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 having
sedentary
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a sedentary
the sedentary
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 style of
life
. Admittedly, there are some disadvantages involved living in rural
areas
. One of them is
limited
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a limited
the limited
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 choice of jobs
could
Correct pronoun usage
that could
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 be offered
due to
shortage
Correct article usage
the shortage
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 of plants and factories. Another negative aspect is degradation
due to
limited
Correct article usage
the limited
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 quantity of schools and teaching personnel.
In addition
, big cities with their signs are more attractive
for
Change preposition
to
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 tourists’ curiosity, so if rural
areas
 do not have
such
 kinds of attractions they will not be interested to visit those locations. In conclusion, having ecological environment conditions including clear air, healthy food and active
life
 far outweighs any of the minor drawbacks that could result from moving to the rural
areas
.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic diversification
  • infrastructure strain
  • rural character
  • urban decongestion
  • environmental impact
  • economic stimulation
  • logistical challenges
  • commuting
  • work-life balance
  • cultural clashes
  • habitat destruction
  • rural depopulation
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