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Band 4.5

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #boys #girls #schools #benefit
In
this
 contemporary era, there are contrasting views, where one section of society believes that it is preferable to put boys and girls in separate gender
schools
 for their education, and
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
 section is of the mindset that all
students
 may find it more advantageous when they study in co-education school.
This
 essay will elucidate both these
view points
Correct your spelling
viewpoints
show examples
 in detail over subsequent paragraphs. To commence with,
single sex
Add a hyphen
single-sex
show examples
schools
 provide a
distraction free
Add a hyphen
distraction-free
show examples
 environment allowing
students
 to focus more on their studies.
In other words
, the academic setting of these
schools
 is
such
 that there is no interference from the opposite gender, giving
students
 an opportunity to study diligently, which results in better grades. To exemplify, it has been observed that
students
 of these
schools
 have better grades in their examinations compared to
students
 of other
schools
.
Hence
, the above example vividly illustrates why some people prefer
single sex
Add a hyphen
single-sex
show examples
schools
.
On the contrary
, co-education
schools
 provide knowledge to
students
 which goes beyond books. To expound, educating
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children in mixed
schools
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 helps them in building their confidence level, respecting each other, learning from each other which ultimately leads to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mutual understanding, which is highly useful in the future for an individual.
For instance
,
students
 who are educated
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a co-educational school
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
 level of confidence in their working environment when they interact with each other.
Thus
, the
afore mentioned
Correct your spelling
aforementioned
show examples
 reasons
substantiates
Change the verb form
substantiate
show examples
 why some people choose
mixed gender
Add a hyphen
mixed-gender
show examples
schools
. To recapitulate,
this
 essay clearly discussed that educating children in
single sex
Add a hyphen
single-sex
show examples
schools
 makes them stay more focused on
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
, without any distraction,
while
students
 in co-education
schools
 tend to develop their interpersonal skills, which gives space for social
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
show examples
. From my point of view, letting
students
 study in mixed
schools
 have a more positive impact on them in various social aspects which will aid to form a better society in the future.
Submitted by naavyaa7 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • co-education
  • gender segregation
  • peer pressure
  • academic performance
  • gender stereotypes
  • discrimination
  • social skills
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • diversity
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