IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given table provides the proportion of the
time
Use synonyms
spending
Replace the word
spent
show examples
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unemployed people in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 year. We can see that
men
Use synonyms
 spent
time
Use synonyms
 gardening, decorating, walking, drinking and playing sport more than
women
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
 cared about housework, shopping and visiting friends or town. In
morning
Add an article
the morning
show examples
,
men
Use synonyms
 mainly did job hunting which occupied about one-fourth
time
Use synonyms
 in
morning
Add an article
the morning
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, doing housework and shopping were
also
Linking Words
 things that
men
Use synonyms
 usually completed before noon, proved by the fact that the proportion of
time
Use synonyms
 spent on these two tasks in
morning
Add an article
the morning
show examples
 had over 10% more than that
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in
afternoon
Add an article
the afternoon
show examples
.
Next,
Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
 spent approximately half of their morning on housework.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, they preferred to visit friends, watch television and read in
afternoon
Add an article
an afternoon
the afternoon
show examples
, all of the percentages are at least 5% more in
afternoon
Add an article
the afternoon
an afternoon
show examples
 than in
morning
Add an article
the morning
show examples
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the rate of staying in bed in
morning
Add an article
the morning
show examples
 was the same, 8%, for
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
. It is interesting to note that
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 both spent much
time
Use synonyms
 on job hunting, which took over 30%
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
men
Change noun form
men's
show examples
 and
women
Use synonyms
’s whole day.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, men, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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