The chart below compares the percentage of time Australian mothers and fathers spent helping their children with four activities in 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The chart shows the percentage of time Australian parents spent helping their children during the 2013 year.
At first glance ,it is evident that
,
Remove the comma
apply
mothers
expend more time in
playing games than Change preposition
apply
fathers
, while
men spent less time in
dressing Change preposition
apply
,
than women.
Remove the comma
apply
To begin
with dressing , both
mothers
and fathers
helped their children approximately four-fifths percentage, likewise
Add a comma
,likewise
mothers
spent only half per cent . However
men had below the norm index. In Add a comma
,However
homework
the indicators remain unchanged , but the amount of Add a comma
,homework
fathers
help grew to the average index, while
the mothers
help slightly go down. A similar pattern can saw in both
parents
percentages. The most alter had playing games part . The amount of Change noun form
parent's
parents'
both
mothers
and fathers
sharply increased to seven in ten per cent, however
females rapidly decreased to below the 30 index. Add a comma
,however
Consequently
men also
slightly dropped . The
Change preposition
In the
last
Preparing for bed both
parents help go upped
, and Change the form of the verb
up
Correct article usage
the mothers
mothers
opposite go down, Fix the agreement mistake
mother
while
fathers
remain stable .Correct article usage
the fathers
Submitted by araika.nk on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words mothers, fathers, both with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go down" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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