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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The bar and line chart below shows average monthly temperatures and bathing suit sales in New York for the first 6 months of 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar and line chart below shows average monthly temperatures and bathing suit sales in New York for the first 6 months of 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #line #temperatures #suit #sales #york #first #months #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The line graphs
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 temperature and the bar chart revenue from bathing suit sales in new york city during the
firsts
Change the noun form
first
show examples
 months of the year 2012. Looking from an
overall
 perspective, it is readily apparent that April is when more money is made from selling swimsuits and the more people buy swimsuits in winter and spring. As
illustrate
Change the form of the verb
illustrated
show examples
 in the line graphs the temperature increases over the
last
 five of six months with the peak in
june
Change the capitalization
June
show examples
, the temperature until 65 degrees.
As
Change preposition
In
show examples
 contrast, the bar chart demonstrated that the revenue
tend
Change the verb form
tends
show examples
 to
decreases
Wrong verb form
decrease
show examples
 during the peak of the summer.
Moreover
,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
we can see that the
selling
Replace the word
sales
show examples
 of swimsuits
grow
Change the verb form
grows
show examples
 up in the winter and spring,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 numbers started to rise in
february
Change the capitalization
February
show examples
. From February to March the amount went
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 150 to approximately 200
dolares
Correct your spelling
dollars
 and in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
April reach
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak of 250.
Nevertheless
, is possible
see
Fix the infinitive
to see
show examples
 that the numbers of
purchase
Fix the agreement mistake
purchases
show examples
 drastically fall in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
june
Change the capitalization
June
show examples
.
Submitted by marvinda.pereira on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
▼

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average monthly temperatures
  • bathing suit sales
  • correlation
  • monthly breakdown
  • significant changes
  • warmest months
  • speculate
  • trends
  • increase in temperature
  • contrasting
  • predictive speculation
  • general trends
  • specific months
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