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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 that ate fast
food
Use synonyms
 in restaurants in three different
years
Use synonyms
, namely 2003, 2006, and 2013 in the USA.
Overall
Linking Words
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 ate fast
food
Use synonyms
 at least once a
week
Use synonyms
 or once or twice a month.
However
Linking Words
, a small percentage of
people
Use synonyms
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
never ate fast
food
Use synonyms
 or ate it every day. These facts were true for all
years
Use synonyms
 2003, 2006, and 2013. As we can see, about 60% of
people
Use synonyms
 ate fast
food
Use synonyms
 once a
week
Use synonyms
 or once or twice a month in all three
years
Use synonyms
. In 2006, 33% of
people
Use synonyms
 ate it once a
week
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 number in 2013 was under 30%. For individuals who ate fast
food
Use synonyms
 once or twice a
month
Add a comma
,month
show examples
 we had the reverse pattern which means that more than one-third of
people
Use synonyms
 ate fast
food
Use synonyms
 in 2013,
while
Linking Words
 just 25% of
people
Use synonyms
 ate it in 2006. In 2003 those numbers were equal and were about 30%. In all those
years
Use synonyms
, under 5% of individuals never ate fast
food
Use synonyms
 or they ate fast
food
Use synonyms
 every day. In 2006, 20% of
people
Use synonyms
 ate it several times a
week
Use synonyms
 and for
people
Use synonyms
 in 2003 and
2013
Add a comma
,2013
show examples
this
Linking Words
 number was about 15%. And for
people
Use synonyms
 who ate a few times a year
this
Linking Words
 number was about 15%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, food, years, week with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fast food consumption
  • dining frequency
  • decade overview
  • trend analysis
  • to dine out
  • fluctuation
  • sharp increase
  • gradual decline
  • eating habits
  • statistical comparison
  • consuming pattern
  • noteworthy change
  • anomaly
  • periodic comparison
  • data interpretation
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