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Band 6

It is sometimes said that a high salary is the most important factor in choosing a job. Do you agree?

#salary #factor #job
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It is argued that a satisfying income would be regarded as the most vital part when
people
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 are faced with a career choice, especially for young
people
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. As far as I am concerned, I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion, since
salary
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 is a key consideration, but not the only one. A good
salary
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 is definitely necessary for
people
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 who are desperate for a decent life.
This
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 is because it would support basic living needs.
For instance
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, food, rent and the necessary bills are all needed to be paid for in
this
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 society , and high living expenses push
people
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 to choose a land
job
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 that can provide a better
salary
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.
Therefore
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 so many young
people
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 would prioritize good money when choosing
work
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. Meanwhile, except for maintaining personal survival, many
people
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 have to afford a family where a high
salary
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 is indispensable for supporting the children's education or parents'
caring
Replace the word
care
show examples
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
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.
On the other hand
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, there are other significant factors that
people
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 will consider when deciding on a
job
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.
Firstly
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,
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
 environment and good colleague relationships
also
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 play a positive role in
work
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, which will improve
job
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 satisfaction and
work
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 quality. Apart from that, a sense of
work
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 achievement and the possibility to learn something from
work
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 is valued by some
people
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, since professionals will achieve tremendous fulfilment from
work
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.
Finally
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, some
people
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 are willing to
work
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 in charity for free , because they just enjoy the feeling of helping
people
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 and society. In conclusion, a decent income is a key factor in choosing a career, but it is not always the most vital consideration, since
people
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 will choose a
job
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 based on their own preferences and situations
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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